Lost in Translation Part 1

Why is it that people find it amazing when you speak differently, say words differently or give things different names to them? Why are people so obsessed with conformity and the fact that things have to be said their way? This blog will come in two parts 1 to educate the Americans I try and communicate with on a daily basis and 2 to inform the South Africans who have a sense of humour.

Let the lessons begin:

So lesson number one for Americans – yes we do speak English in (South) Africa and no I’m not just naturally talented at learning new languages.

2. Not everyone is as loud as you and no there’s nothing wrong when I don’t feel the need to fill in every space of silence with a stupid comment.

3. I know we say things differently but I’m sure you can figure it out without me having to repeat myself in your language – it’s English.

4. I don’t mind means I don’t mind. I’m not trying to avoid responsibility or avoid decision making.

5. Braai – this is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa (yes I know it’s a long plane flight and you will have to get a passport). A braai is a backyard barbecue where you will be served chops and boerewors and will consume lots of beer.

6. Rugby – This is the much loved South African sport similar to American Footbal except our guys don’t wear so much padding and the same players stay on the field for the whole game – no rest for the wicked.

7. Ag - Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation: "Ag OK, I'll have some more braaivleis (BBQ meat) then." It can also stand alone as a sign of irritation.

8. Donner - A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you come back from a braai at three in the morning.

9. Eina - Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah".

10. Hey - Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as a question.

11. Izit? - Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: "Izit?"

12. Ja well no fine - This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words: "yes", "well", "no" and “fine", it roughly means "OK". If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence, say: "Jawelnofine."

13. Klap - Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America, that is called child abuse. In South Africa, it is called promoting education. But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.

14. Lekker - An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you can say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last syllable.

15. Dop - A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner. When invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a long night.

16. Bakkie - This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to a small truck or pick-up.

17. Howzit - This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the country.

18. Now now - In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase: "Now now, it's OK." But in South Africa, this phrase is used in the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there now now." It means "a little after now".

19. Just now – Somewhat like Now Now, this phrase means a “little longer after now”

20. Vrot - Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired.

21. Rock up - To rock up is to just arrive (gate crash). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be selective about it.

22. Scale - To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" has a doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag.

23. Ja-nee - "Yes No". Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.

I would like to thank Thunder Struck for additional material for this blog and for helping me in my fight to educate Americans on the world beyond their borders.