Discombobulated

Ever woken up one day, looked around and suddenly everything was completely out of whack?

That a world that was once so certain and a life you were so sure of is all of a sudden all blurry and confusing?

You find yourself asking yourself all these questions that you simply do not know the answers to. The world that was once so black and white is now full of grey.
So what does one do in this situation? I guess it takes a period of adjusting to this new and terrifying world. You could say you would go through stages, much like the stages of grief. A great way of thinking is that these are more definitions of emotional behaviors rather than stages, per se.

• Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
• Anger (why is this happening to me?)
• Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
• Depression (I don't care anymore)
• Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Another and maybe less known definition of the stages of grief describes three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss. They are:
• Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
• Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)
• Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)

I think I can relate to this one more. I know that I went through the initial stage where I’m not sure to how to behave or act so I just went through the paces, somewhat mechanically, getting through the days waiting to find my place.

I have definitely felt the disorganization part, felling that I have nothing of my own and I rely on everyone too much and would give anything for my own space, my own things and my own life.

But thankfully I can see myself moving into the reorganization phase, I would love to get out there and meet new people and get on with my life. Unfortunately, I find myself in a difficult position between the two phases because as much as I would like to take my life into my own hands and progress through these stages and become a somewhat normal functioning member of society, my situation binds me and I cannot.