Trying to Replace My People

One of the tricky things when you move to a new place or a mainly to a new country is finding replacements for your people.

At home and over time we develop a list of people who we rely on a very regular basis. We all have our fabulous hair dressers, our amazing mani and pedi people and of course our waxing goddesses.

So the trick is when you move to a new place you have to try and find new people who are just as wonderful as the people you left behind. Of course you can go with word of mouth referrals which is generally the best idea but we all have our little things and the way that we like things done so finding people who will do this for us may be hard.

So although I know I will never be able to replace my amazing mani and pedi people or my beautiful waxing goddess I guess I have to try as these are necessities that a girl has to do, but then you also don’t want to mess around with things like waxing and trust to me is a major issue.

But I can happily say that I think I have found my new hair person and she made me smile today.

So I continue the search for my other people and this doesn’t even include doctors and dentists but the of course those are not my primary concerns.

The Immigration Sage – Complete for Now

So today my friend the post man delivered some wonderful news - I am officially a permanent resident of The United States of America.

It is not so much the fact that this has happened and happened so quickly that makes me happy but more a feeling of personal achievement for doing it all myself.

Some people said I was crazy and some people said I was brave but having decided to tackle it myself before hiring an immigration lawyer proved the best and cheaper way. So I have officially won my case without any questions or reviews and I now hole the card.

So I guess I am now just waiting for a social security number – I think I need one of those and I will be all set. This is of course until I need to renew the card in two years and then I assume the paperwork will start again.

Next step I believe is to remain a resident for five years and then America will decide whether I am good enough to be a citizen. I guess I had better start studying – yes I will have to take a test…

But until then I will relax and will try not to bug the poor souls at USCIS.

Just another Birthday

So in the run up to the big two-seven I have been in pre crisis mode – you know – knowing that on the day that you wake up and you are no longer 26, you are going to feel like death is breathing his bad morning breath down your neck and when you get up and dare look into the mirror you are going to see even more crows feet and deep etched wrinkles. You make a mental note that you will have to book a botox appointment, a boob lift and some lipo and start going to the gym more. But then you think that this is just way too much effort and the easier thing is just to crawl back into bed and hope it is all just a bad dream.

I have been dreading this birthday like I dread going to the dentist. It’s not so much about getting older but more about the fact that I went from having a great job and a destination to turning one year older and having no job and no idea where I am going.

But then I woke up on that fateful day and was pleased to notice that I still looked the same, my boobs were still in the same place and … ok I’m still pretty keen on the lipo but that’s besides the point.

The good thing I guess is that I came to think that maybe life is not all about the destination and more about the adventure and I have my whole life to work and make a name for myself so maybe I should just enjoy the time off.

I also came to think that in the past year I have lived in three different countries and that has been pretty cool too.

So I have been able to put the mid life crisis on hold for another year, it was a little easier to delay than I thought – one reason could be that due to the fact that I have no job I have no money to go blow on clothes, shoes and plastic surgery. (My other half helped to ease the pain a little with 3 pairs of boots as a birthday present!)

Maybe when the clock ticks this time next year I will have more accomplishments to hold onto to make me feel a little better. I think I am already kicking into pre crisis mode though in terms of finding a good surgeon (Thunder you can not talk me out of this one!)

All in all I had a great birthday, with family, food and cake. And you are never too old to blush during Happy Birthday.

My First Thanksgiving

So I can successfully say that I have experienced Thanksgiving and thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean who wouldn’t – food, family and Shopping!

So the day started bright and early making sure that all the food was cooked and the tables were set. Family started arriving and we sat down to eat lunch which was a feast fit for a king! With the traditional turkey and stuffing and so much more I was impressed with my will-power to only have one helping (OK there really was only room for one helping and I had to make sure there was room for pudding!)

During lunch we went around the table and shared what we are thankful for. It really is good to thin about it and reflect on the people and things in life that mean so much to us and the opportunities we have been given. I am so thankful for the opportunity to come to a new country to live and experience all the cultures and traditions. I am so thankful for my family back home and everything they have done for me during my life. I am also thankful for my new family here in America, for taking care of me and making me feel so welcome and loved.

After playing some board games with the family we went to bed as full as ticks, ready for another full day tomorrow.

So apparently another thanksgiving tradition is shopping – I’m not sure of the history or reason behind it but I’m not complaining or gonna ask questions. Black Friday is the day after thanksgiving and consists of shopping, shopping and more shopping. We were up at 4 am to head to the stores where absolutely everything was on sale! I was in heaven!!! We shopped for a magnificent couple of hours then went off for lunch to stuff ourselves further.

Headed home unable to move and we watched the traditional iron bowl football (of course there had to be some football and yes Alabama won) and crashed into bed shortly after.

All in all I had a great thanksgiving and can’t wait until next year!

Thanksgiving - The Story

So for my friends and followers not entitled to a couple of days off work for this holiday, let me being by shedding some light on this day of giving thanks.
Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November with large Thanksgiving dinners being held on this day, usually as a gathering of family members and friends.

In the United States, certain Thanksgiving meals normally feature turkey (so much so that Thanksgiving is sometimes referred to as "Turkey Day"). Stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet corn, vegetables, and pumpkin pie are commonly associated with Thanksgiving dinner. As an alternative to turkey, many vegetarians or vegans eat tofurky, it’s unlikely that I will get to try this as me being a veggie is has caused many raised eyebrows and the mention of tofu generally arouses the gag reflex of those Americans in my presence.

So to break it down Barney style; The tradition of Thanksgiving started some four hundred years ago when some of the people in England, for various religious reasons, fled their homes, and went far off to a country called Holland and began to call themselves "Pilgrims."

In Holland, the Pilgrims were happy for a while, but then for further reasons, they made up their minds to move to America. The Mayflower was the vessel which would take them across the sea.

After sailing two months the Mayflower came in sight of land; but instead of finding grass and flowers and birds, there was nothing to be seen but rocks, sand and hard bare ground because it winter.

Some of the Pilgrims went on shore to see if they could find any houses or people, but they only saw some wild Indians, who ran away from them. They searched and searched until they found somewhere to live. Then at last, on Christmas Day, all the tired Pilgrims could leave the ship settled on a spot now called Plymouth Rock. But the weather was cold, the snow fell fast and thick, the wind was icy and they got very sick that first winter. But over time the sun shone more brightly, the snow melted, the leaves began to grow, and spring had come again.

Some friendly Indians had visited the Pilgrims during the winter and one of the kind Indians was called Squanto came to stay with the Pilgrims, and showed them how to plant corn, peas, wheat and barley.

As the seasons passed the Pilgrims learned the land when autumn came, the fathers gathered the barley and wheat and corn that they had planted, and found that it had grown so well that they would have enough for the long winter that was coming.
"Let us thank God for it all," they said. "It is He who has made the sun shine and the rain fall and the corns grow." "Then," said the Pilgrim mothers, "let us have a great Thanksgiving party, and invite the friendly Indians."

So they had the first Thanksgiving party. The men went out hunting, and brought back so many wild ducks and geese and great wild turkeys that there was enough to eat for almost a week. Then the Pilgrim mothers made the corn and wheat into bread and cakes.

The friendly Indians all came with their chief Massasoit and each meal, before they ate anything, the Pilgrims and the Indians gave thanks for everything good that has happened for them. The Indians sang and danced in the evenings, and every day they ran races and played all kinds of games with the children.
And that my friends, is thanksgiving. So now I am off to celebrate and give thanks and eat lots.

The Immigration Saga – Finally something good!

Well today has been a great day, and not only cause I was treated to a much overdue mani and pedi.

But today I finally received what I have been waiting for from the dear immigration people. OK I now, I got my work permit yesterday which is pretty important too, but today I was granted Advanced Parole.

The mail man (who was getting scared I would start stalking him) brought me a letter today that in big bold letters at the top states. “Authorization for Parole of and Alien into the United States”. Now seriously, can they not think of any better way to put it?

Anyway, call me what you will, this alien will be coming home for Christmas and nothing is stopping me!

All in all I cannot complain as this whole process took a lot quicker than the suggested time and it has actually been pretty simple. I would like to apologize to the poor call center people who had to endure my daily calls and subsequent huffing and puffing. I’m sure you’re not really as stupid as you sound.

So now, all that if left to complete is my permanent residency, but I have my parole and my work permit so take your time!

The Immigration Sage – 1 out of three completed

So after getting very excited that there may be hope and a light at the end of the immigration tunnel – I was once again let down by the stupidity of the call centre agents at the immigration saga headquarters. After telling me they were going to expedite my request for advanced parole they cannot tell me why I have not received the letter with further instructions. And no they can resend it – I just have to wait.

But I guess all hope is not lost and progress can be seen in the fact that I can now legally earn a living in the USA. Today the one thing that did reach me in the mail is a nice little card with my photo on it that is apparently and Employment Authorization Permit.

So – I guess I am actively looking for work then… Maybe I’ll start in January.

So that is one application checked off – two more to go. I’ll keep you posted.

The True Spirit of Christmas

My day today had a very early start at 6am when I arrived at Wal-Mart – yes I was at Wal-Mart at 6am.

But you know me – if given the opportunity to shop, with someone else’s money, I am all in – no matter what the time!

This morning however was not about me and that made it all the more enjoyable. Today was about giving to those who have very little and it proved to be so much fun.

Through the church we had raised enough money to buy gifts for 109 children this Christmas so groups of us flocked to the store to shop for them. We were given the children’s age and gender and of course their wish list to Santa and we did our best to fit all there desires into our budget – which actually proved pretty easy because of the great prices!

It was so much fun to go around and pick out clothes, toys and even bicycles for little boys and girls knowing that this Christmas there will be something great for them under the tree.

I would like to thank all the amazing people who donated money and also the staff at Wal-Mart for opening up early and helping us find exactly what the kids wanted.

I would also like to urge everyone to give a little this Christmas. I know that times are tough but times are even tougher for other people out there and it really does feel good to know that you have made a difference to one little child.

Even if you don’t have the extra cash, offer your time like I did and hey – you could end up having so much fun!

Footballers Wives – Very proud!

So as an update to the previous Footballers Wives segment a couple of weeks ago I am proud to announce that my other half was on the winning team of the league championships.

This came at no small price! Game one began promptly at 3pm, with a very mouthy team as competition the pressure was on to put these guys in their place. And they did. A magnificent win moved them onto the next round of the playoffs.

After a very long wait, during which the girls went shopping, the boys had to warm up again and get their game faces back on for the next round which started at a delayed 6pm! Again they won, although this time very close.

Into the finals! The championship match had even the footballers club on the edge of their seats. They played a team who beat them royaly last time (all the the teams they played in the playoff were teams that they had previously lost to). Up until the very last moment we were holding our breath and oh the joy to see the looks on our mens’ faces when they scored that last point, putting them in the lead by 1 – 10 seconds before the end of the match.

Now if I knew a little more about the sport I could give you a full break down and play by play – but for no this will have to do.

All in all a good day was had and we are all extremely proud of our champions. We have a welcome break of a few weeks before basketball season starts and the footballer’s wives club gets back into gear – at least this time it will be inside!

Who knew?

Who knew that one little blog could open so many doors.

This all started with me sharing my thoughts and daily activities after my darling Crazii Redhead inspired me to put pen to paper – well fingers to keyboard.

So after the conception of Pop Tarts Travels, I expanded to HubPages (click here), where my eyes were opened to the world of the blogging community. I had no idea that just by sharing my thoughts I could connect with so many people. I love reading other peoples blogs and love it even more when my friends and family and even those people that I have never met read my pieces and share their thoughts with me.

I was then introduced to Google Ad sense and realized that I could be earning a little penny by doing something I love. OK so I know that I will not become a millionaire over night but something is better than nothing right. It was then suggested that I expand my writing to include more commercial topics in order to increase traffic to my sights and hence increase my Google income and so of course I wrote about shoes. To read, click here.

Now I come to the next step in my writing “career”. I do not really know how I came across this, but I am now a registered freelancer on Freelancer.com and surprise! I have my first project! So the money is still not great but at least I can say I have a job and I actually have something meaningful to do each day. For any of you out there who would like to earn a little cash on the side I would highly recommend you visit http://www.getafreelancer.com/affiliates/ToriM/ it’s free to register and there are so many jobs available about so many different topics!

So whilst trying not to neglect my dear Pop Tarts Travels and still share all my thoughts with you I am now finding myself sitting in front of the computer for many hours a day but really enjoying myself. Things are looking up!

The Immigration Saga Cont…

So I received a letter in the mail saying that in order to speed up the processing of my green card they have transferred my case to another department.

A little confuzzeled, I phoned the help line to get someone to explain how transferring can hurry things up and whether this had anything to do with my request to expedite my Advanced Parole.

Well the lovely lady on the other end of the line was helpful and intelligent enough to read to me exactly what was written on the letter I had received and told me that she could not tell me anything further but she could say that this probably had nothing to do with my advanced parole.

So although I appreciate you hiring people that can read but it would be fantastic if they could actually help with my queries.

Official Correction and Appology

So after my other half read my previous blog about Veterans Day I was promptly advised that there is no such thing as an Ex-Marine and that the saying goes "Once a Marine Always a Marine".

I would therefore like to retract the statement as previously used and say that my big strong Marine other half will always be my Big strong marine other half.

Thank You To All My Soldiers - Happy Vets Day

Usually celebrated on November 11, Veterans Day is an annual American holiday honoring military veterans. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I.

My big strong ex-marine other half is of course now a veteran (doesn’t that make you sound old?!) and I have to say that it does make me proud that he has served his country. OK I am not super patriotic yet and I know that there is a large portion of people that giggle about the patriotism of Americans and I have to admit that I never really understood the reasoning behind having flags in your front yards and pledging allegiance to a flag – I mean it’s just a flag. But I do see the reasoning behind it and although I do not yet put my hand over my heart and sing The Star Spangled Banner and I don’t know the Pledge of Allegiance, it does make you fell good to know that the country is united. Maybe we in South Africa can learn a thing or two – I know that I am not very patriotic to even my own country – but it would feel good to be.

So my big strong ex-marine other half was invited to be the special guest to help teach a kindergarten class about Veterans Day. Donning his cammies on more time, we set off with photo’s and flags in hand. If there is anything that can brighten up any day it’s walking into a class filled with beautiful children looking up to a “solider” and thinking that this is just the most exciting day ever. After one little girl told him looked handsome he discussed the marine corps, being away from his friends and family and tried to turn his marine experiences into lessons the kids could learn from. He led them in the Pledge of Allegiance and singing the anthem and taught them how to march.

After they presented him with a thank you card on which they had all drawn pictures of things important to the (including one picture apparently of the child, a soldier and bombs – I couldn’t make it out) we left feeling warm in our hearts and with smiles on our faces.

I would like to take this opportunity – without getting mushy – to thank all those who have served their countries – not only America. That of course includes my other half and all those marines I have met along the way. It also largely includes my amazing daddy and his dad (outa), serving both South Africa and England respectively. My family in Israel and my friends in the Royal services. I love you all. Please be safe.

For moto pics click here

Hurricane Ida

So today I find myself experiencing my first hurricane effects, to me it is no more than a normal winter day in Cape Town – rain, rain, rain and more rain.

Hurricane Ida is the ninth tropical storm and third hurricane of the 2009 Atlantic hurricane season. Hurricane Ida developed on November 4 as a tropical depression. The next day, Ida made landfall in Nicaragua, and was classed as a minimal hurricane. Quickly weakening over land, Ida returned to tropical depression status as it moved towards Honduras, and survived the land crossing, emerging off the Honduran coast on the afternoon of November 6 as a tropical depression. It then strengthened, regaining tropical storm status early on November 7 and then hurricane status late on November 7.

On November 8, Ida strengthened to a Category 2 hurricane as it entered the deep warm waters of the northwestern Caribbean Sea. It tracked into the Gulf of Mexico that afternoon, with winds reaching 105 mph (165 km/h) that evening. Ida gradually weakened to a tropical storm from the cool waters of the Northern Gulf of Mexico. The storm made landfall early on November 10.

Just as an FYI, storms of tropical storm strength are given names to allow the public to easily distinguish between systems when there are multiple systems in an individual basin at the same time. In most cases, a tropical cyclone retains its name throughout its life. These names are taken from lists which vary from region to region and are drafted a few years ahead of time. Each year, the names of particularly destructive storms (if there are any) are "retired" and new names are chosen to take their place.

In the North Atlantic and Northeastern Pacific basins, feminine and masculine names are alternated in alphabetic order during a given season. The gender of the season's first storm also alternates year to year. Six lists of names are prepared in advance, and each list is used once every six years. (For more info on this click here)

So right now that is my news – I will keep you updated with any significant changes in the weather that are cause for concern.

For those that know me well enough will know that a hurricane is as good of an excuse as any to make pop corn and lie on the couch all day watching movies.

Panama City Road Trip

Excited to experience another American road trip, we pile in the car with way too much luggage for 4 days and set off – destination, Panama City Florida, stopping for the necessary supplies; Doritos’s, Twix and Sour Worms (so not sour and very disappointing). On our way and with time to kill we make a stop in Clanton to view Alabama’s Giant Peach. Of course I make sure we park the car and take full advantage of this once in a lifetime photo opp. (for photo's see http://hubpages.com/hub/Panama-City-Road-Trip)

Back on the road and we make our second stop in Montgomery, the state's capital. We struck it lucky as it was the 20th anniversary of the Civil Rights Memorial Center so we got free entry. learning something about the civil war and putting our names on the wall of tolerance - pledging to take a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance - we went off to visit the capital buildings and took loads more photo's. I must admit that this part of the trip was actually very interesting and I figure that as I find myself now living in the state of Alabama, I had better learn a little about the history of the place.

Setting off on part three of this trip we make our way to Troy, where we do a flyby tour of the campus and go and get our arteries clogged at the renowned students’ eatery, Crows Chicken. On our fourth and final leg of the road trip we find ourselves being guided, by our trusty Garmin, down a very long and scary dirt road in axe murderer country – all adds to the excitement of course.

Eventually we make it to Panama City and I am elated to find myself in a very new and very suave penthouse condo on the 25th floor. Oh what a breath of fresh sea air.

Day one was spent lounging on the beach, playing beach bats and Frisbee, truly basking in the glory of being back on the beach. Although the sun could have been hotter and the breeze could have been less, I cannot complain as I realize how much the sea means to me and how much I miss the Cape Town coast. To complete the day in true Panama City style we head off to Sharky's and sip on daiquiris - bliss. After finding ourselves in the middle of a parrot head convention we drank like we were teenagers, danced like no one was watching and had a great time. We were eventually forced to leave due to the unfortunate event of closing time. Oh but the party was not to end here.... Coyote Ugly was next on the list.

Now to put things in perspective, this was one of my all time favorite movies, and dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly was one of my life time goals. To cut a very long and possibly embarrassing story short . . . goal accomplished.

After 4 days of sun, sand, sea and so much fun, I reluctantly packed my bags, said goodbye to my penthouse dream and headed off. I will be back. It is the beach and where I belong.

Weekend Travels

Well folks, friends and followers I am off on yet another American adventure as we jump in the car and set off to Panama City for the weekend.

Now as my American folk tales tell me, Panama City is a place of parties, booze and spring break. Now as I guess it is not spring this may not be the case.

So I will endeavor to find out as much as I can about the life of this elusive party town and will gladly report back on any findings I may find worthy of posting on Pop Tarts Travels.

Have a great weekend and I hope to hear lots of stories on Monday. Crazii Redhead and Thunder Struck have a fantabulous time at the hen party and try not to cause too much trouble.

Play nice Ya’ll.

The Immigration Saga

I guess this is something I should have started writing about 9 MONTHS AGO!

I now take it upon myself to explain the process and the drama to anyone who may be contemplating putting themselves through this nightmare. Please do not hesitate to ask any questions along the way – although I have not found any loopholes and am not yet through this drama I may be able to shed some light.

Step 1 – File for Fiancé VISA (K1). I actually found this process to be relatively painless; this could have had something to do with the fact that my fiancé is a big, strong and gorgeous US Marine and actually worked out of the embassy where they process the visas. But not being above the rules and special enough to skip a few steps, I still had to fill in mounds of paperwork, get police clearances from both SA and UK, go to interviews and of course go to the most expensive doctor’s appointment of my life.

Step 1 complete but days before I’m due to travel to USA – I am now an Alien Fiancé and may enter the United States.

Step 2 – Apply for Change of Status to become a Permanent Resident. Well my Fiancé is no long a marine working at any embassy (he’s still big, strong and gorgeous though) so I am left to fill out these further mounds of paperwork by myself. I have to go to another extortionist who calls himself a doctor and go get more fingerprints and photographs done. Why can America not just trust the fact that the previous people did it correctly?

Now they tell me that this process can take a long time… so in the interim I have applied for Advance Parole (I am a prisoner in the USA and would like to visit my family for Christmas) and I have also asked for a temporary work permit so I can earn back some of the money I spent on trying to do things the right way (it would have been easier and cheaper to jump the border!).

Step 2 underway, they have cashed the check and acknowledge receipt.

Today I politely spoke to the lovely lady on the other side of the telephone and asked whether there is anyway to speed up this lengthily process as Christmas is coming soon and with the plane flights booked and the presents bought I need to get there. Expedition requested . . . pray for me!

Footballers Wives

Something was said to me the other day that scarily enough struck a thought in my head.

Now just to paint the picture, every Sunday afternoon the man in my life plays flag football (like touch rugby) for a league. Now as the woman in his life, I go along and sit on the sidelines with the other significant others. We catch glimpses of our other halves making great plays and notify each other when to shout and clap. But mainly we talk about the men in our lives and our lives themselves.

Now at this past Sunday’s game, you could just barely spot the footballers wives sitting on the sidelines huddled under many layers of coats and blankets, bringing our hands out to clap only when absolutely necessary, when the ref walked past said, “You must all be very dedicated or have nothing better to do.” Now although my life is not filled with much these days, I’m sure I could have found something warmer to do at least. But the truth is that I like sitting out there watching and cheering for my other half, so I guess you would say that I’m dedicated. The question does however remain; at what point do you draw the line of dedication? At what temperature are you released from your spousal support duties?

For now I will say that I am happy to be part of the footballer’s wives club and will continue to pretend to pay attention and will continue to give the praise and pats on the back as deserved.

Which is a good thing as we also have volleyball league on Monday’s and an upcoming basketball league?

USA Halloween

In the lead up to Halloween I was amazed and slightly unsettled to see that Americans really do celebrate Halloween. And by that I mean adorning their houses with sometimes tacky decorations (inside and out) decorating shop windows and overstocking their shelves with pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons and anything else remotely scary or gruesome (I have to add that these Halloween features are already fighting for shelf space with the just as tacky Christmas decorations that are already showing face).

Now Halloween weekend is as anticipated and prepared for as Christmas and I really did get to experience my first American Halloween.

With parties planned on both Friday and Saturday night I donned the ever faithful pirate outfit and headed out to number 1. Having spent days on decorating the house in awesome and creative ways, I was welcomed by a very scary man at the front door and I’m still not actually sure if he was real or not for I know that I never saw him speak or move the entire night and I’m sure he was made of plastic, but I also couldn’t help getting that feeling that I was being watched.

With delicious punch and a feast that was so fit for the occasion that you are not sure whether to eat it or not (I tried and it was all actually delicious) we had a great time. I was amazed at the trouble people go to in terms of dressing up and even going the lengths to make sure that the four legged guests are not left feeling naked.

Now onto the actual day of Halloween. I am glad to say that the giant bowl of candy only entered our house on this day so that there was some left for the kids when they came trick-or-treating. But I have to also say that I am very disappointed and feel somewhat hard done by that no kids actually did come trick-or-treating. OK granted there are not many small kids in our neighborhood but still!

So off we went to party number two and were greeted by just as scary things and just as malicious looking pumpkins. Again, the hosts went all out with the Halloween inspired food and drinks and of course candy. It was here that I experienced my first trick-or-treat guests . . . a dad and his beautiful baby all gorgeously dressed up. Now it is times like this when you think to yourself, “To whose benefit is this visit because your baby certainly is too young to be eating candy!”

After another great party we headed home, all pirated out and stuffed with food, booze and Hershey’s with so many ideas for next year. Roll on Halloween 2010!

For some pics see http://hubpages.com/hub/First-USA-Halloween

Expats

So it’s been a couple of days since I’ve last written, for some reason I have found myself rather uninspired. Today I find myself just as mentally under stimulated as yesterday but with something to share.

Last night my other half and myself found ourselves in the lovely and welcoming home of the Jooste family. Yes, I said Jooste – not very American – in fact this lovely family is about as Afrikaans as they come (they make their own biltong in America). Friends of friends, we were put in touch with them to give me some South African support and show me that I am not the only SAFFA so far away from home, in fact there are apparently a whole bunch of us lost in the South!

So sipping on some lovely South African wine we chatted for hours about home and adjusting to the American way. They have been here for 8 years and although the kids have adopted the southern twang quite nicely Mnr and Mev Jooste het nog hul regte Afrikaans aksente and boy did I love it! Yes, I found myself starting to think in Afrikaans again, scary or comforting I don’t know yet…

One thing I found amazing is that all expats seem to miss the same things (take notes for sending care packages); Mrs Balls Chutney, Ouma Rusks, 5 Roses Tea, Sweet Chilli Sauce, Sparletta Cream Soda, biltong, oh, and the mountain.

With the promise of being invited to the next Tuisland Tannies Tea I left with a smile on my face and the knowledge of the fact that I am not alone (to the tune of Michael Jackson of course).

Miskien sal el begin om my Afrikaans erfenis te vier en dinge soos bobotie begin kook. Minnie jy moet trots wees.

Secrets

Secrecy is defined as the practice of hiding information from certain individuals or groups, perhaps while sharing it with other individuals. That which is kept hidden is known as the secret.

I believe we all have secrets, some big, some small. Some people long to be able to tell their secrets, to get them off their chest, other people find peace in having their little secret.

You may in a lifetime find those special people that will keep your secrets, that one person that you can tell absolutely anything without being judged or having your secrets told.

The reason I write this is not because I have a massive secret that I want to share but because last night I went to a talk by Frank Warren of Post Secret. I realized that there are so many people out there with secrets, some so tiny and insignificant to us but have an earth shattering grip on these people’s lives. Some secrets that are live changing and life threatening. These people find hope and solitude in sending a stranger their secrets. I guess it is nice to know that there is that person out there that you can tell anything without being judged and by telling someone your secret surely it’s not a secret anymore.

I also realized that there are people out there who are going through or have gone through the same things as me, they have had the same thoughts as me, made the same mistakes as me – I find that comforting.

Take a look at Post Secret - you are bound to find that one secret that you share with someone.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
http://www.postsecretcommunity.com/

Discombobulated

Ever woken up one day, looked around and suddenly everything was completely out of whack?

That a world that was once so certain and a life you were so sure of is all of a sudden all blurry and confusing?

You find yourself asking yourself all these questions that you simply do not know the answers to. The world that was once so black and white is now full of grey.
So what does one do in this situation? I guess it takes a period of adjusting to this new and terrifying world. You could say you would go through stages, much like the stages of grief. A great way of thinking is that these are more definitions of emotional behaviors rather than stages, per se.

• Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
• Anger (why is this happening to me?)
• Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
• Depression (I don't care anymore)
• Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Another and maybe less known definition of the stages of grief describes three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss. They are:
• Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
• Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)
• Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)

I think I can relate to this one more. I know that I went through the initial stage where I’m not sure to how to behave or act so I just went through the paces, somewhat mechanically, getting through the days waiting to find my place.

I have definitely felt the disorganization part, felling that I have nothing of my own and I rely on everyone too much and would give anything for my own space, my own things and my own life.

But thankfully I can see myself moving into the reorganization phase, I would love to get out there and meet new people and get on with my life. Unfortunately, I find myself in a difficult position between the two phases because as much as I would like to take my life into my own hands and progress through these stages and become a somewhat normal functioning member of society, my situation binds me and I cannot.

Home

What is so great about that place called Home? The same place that you’ve seen for most of your life. The place where nothing changes and time seems to stand still. The place that we are all so eager to get out of – we cannot wait to grow our wings and learn to fly to explore the rest of the world and make our mark on something bigger and better.

After much deliberation, I think I have finally found the answer, “What’s so great about home?” Everything.

Church Lesson 1

So, as part of my new life in the burbs, I now go to church, yes I can hear the giggles (and outbursts from Thunder Struck). Don’t get me wrong, I am a believer, I say my “Please God’s” every so often and I try a live a life that a higher power wouldn’t frown too much upon, but I am also a skeptic and the founder of Apism so I find myself stuck in a lost world somewhere between living the life and playing dress-up.

So every Sunday (unless hung-over) I try to put on my most church appropriate outfit and generally get the question, “Are you going to wear that to church?” I then change into a somewhat less fashionable but a little more church appropriate outfit, still with great shoes, and head to church where I mind my P’s and Q’s and do what I’m told.

I have to admit that I do listen and take in the sermon and most of it makes good sense, but me being me always has a question that I probably should not ask.

The thought that was provoked in me this past Sunday really did strike a chord as I felt somewhat attacked maybe. It kind of played on the fact that the American way of upbringing is the correct and only way. The pastor, preacher, Brother Rick was speaking of respect for your elders and that kind of thing and he said that by saying “yes ma’am/Sir and no ma’am/Sir” showed respect for people. Now this has been problem for me since moving over here, the fact that everybody addresses everybody else by Ma’am and Sir. And I don’t. I just was not taught to say that after every sentence and feel silly doing it. But does that mean that I am being disrespectful and undermining authority?

I don’t think so.

Yard-Saleing

When first invited to go “yard-saleing” I was quiet excited as I’d heard so much about this American tradition. You see this is some sort of cultural adventure, you spend a couple of days noticing the Yard Sale signs around town and writing down the addresses, then you pile the family in the car (grand mother in curlers included) and start your trek. You hit up as many sales as you can on the way in the hope of finding those once in a life-time hidden treasures.

So now of course I’m thinking Clean House – heaps of cool stuff still in boxes, bought but never used. I’m hoping to find some really nice household things that are really useful for bargain prices. The truth and the trick is that you really have to search through piles of broken and unwanted nothings to find your treasure. My first thought is, “Did you seriously think that someone would want to buy this?” We saw everything from old shoes to mouldy clothes and rusty cake tins. Don’t forget the jewelry that looked like it was made by a three year old at craft school.

Finds of the day:
Beautiful diamond (Cubic’s) rings for $25
An electric wheelchair for $1200

After thinking that it might be fun to get the family back home traditional Christmas presents in the form of amazing yard sale finds I came to my senses and realized that one man’s rubbish is simply one man’s rubbish.

Some good laughs were had and we left with a day/night pill box - $0.25 (bargained down from $0.50) and two Christmas cutting boards (really cute actually) - $0.75

Lost in Translation Part 1

Why is it that people find it amazing when you speak differently, say words differently or give things different names to them? Why are people so obsessed with conformity and the fact that things have to be said their way? This blog will come in two parts 1 to educate the Americans I try and communicate with on a daily basis and 2 to inform the South Africans who have a sense of humour.

Let the lessons begin:

So lesson number one for Americans – yes we do speak English in (South) Africa and no I’m not just naturally talented at learning new languages.

2. Not everyone is as loud as you and no there’s nothing wrong when I don’t feel the need to fill in every space of silence with a stupid comment.

3. I know we say things differently but I’m sure you can figure it out without me having to repeat myself in your language – it’s English.

4. I don’t mind means I don’t mind. I’m not trying to avoid responsibility or avoid decision making.

5. Braai – this is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa (yes I know it’s a long plane flight and you will have to get a passport). A braai is a backyard barbecue where you will be served chops and boerewors and will consume lots of beer.

6. Rugby – This is the much loved South African sport similar to American Footbal except our guys don’t wear so much padding and the same players stay on the field for the whole game – no rest for the wicked.

7. Ag - Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation: "Ag OK, I'll have some more braaivleis (BBQ meat) then." It can also stand alone as a sign of irritation.

8. Donner - A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you come back from a braai at three in the morning.

9. Eina - Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah".

10. Hey - Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as a question.

11. Izit? - Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: "Izit?"

12. Ja well no fine - This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words: "yes", "well", "no" and “fine", it roughly means "OK". If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence, say: "Jawelnofine."

13. Klap - Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America, that is called child abuse. In South Africa, it is called promoting education. But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.

14. Lekker - An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you can say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last syllable.

15. Dop - A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner. When invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a long night.

16. Bakkie - This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to a small truck or pick-up.

17. Howzit - This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the country.

18. Now now - In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase: "Now now, it's OK." But in South Africa, this phrase is used in the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there now now." It means "a little after now".

19. Just now – Somewhat like Now Now, this phrase means a “little longer after now”

20. Vrot - Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired.

21. Rock up - To rock up is to just arrive (gate crash). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be selective about it.

22. Scale - To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" has a doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag.

23. Ja-nee - "Yes No". Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.

I would like to thank Thunder Struck for additional material for this blog and for helping me in my fight to educate Americans on the world beyond their borders.

The First Lesson in America

Inspired by my lovely friend Crazii Redhead, I’ve decided to clear away the cobwebs from my writing brain and share my thoughts with those bored enough to read. The subject of this amateur blog will I guess be the most prevalent thing in my life at the moment – the big move to the US of A.

With very little idea of where to actually start I think a good point would be the love of all loves (the thing I apparently need to learn to love very quickly) – American Football.

It is now football season so everyone who is anyone is talking about each past, current and future game and make no plans on the weekends cause the game is on! So fast I find myself in a complete football overload.

OK yes I know I am somewhat of a massive rugby fan but really there is no need in my mind to watch 4 games in one day when only one of them contains the team you actually support. I know you are interested in where the other teams come to see where your team lies in the league but is that not what sports roundup is for?

My first live game was Alabama (my inherited team) vs Arkansas (Ar-Kan-Saaw). They played at the University of Alabama. With a seating capacity of 92,012, (Newlands holds 51,900) it is pretty daunting and does give you chills when you enter the sold out stadium, everybody wearing their team colours and cheering along with the cheerleaders (yes they are real and yes they all wear too much make-up, too little clothes and for some odd reason have very 80’s bouncy hair).

But now to paint the picture of this fateful day – it was raining, but not just a little rain, but really really raining, like the rain that unless I was in a comfy business box with free snacks and red wine I would be watching the game from my couch. But no, not the Americans … they are there, in full force, in the pouring rain. They actually turn up a good couple of hours before the game for what they term Tailgate Parties, where basically they have beer in the back of their bakkies and proceed to get drunk before the game, not too much of a bad idea I guess, but really – 2 more hours than necessary in the rain.

So luckily for me the rain clears up somewhat and the sun tries to come out so we head to our seats. Upon entering the stadium I am told that I cannot take my bag in as it is too big – hello it’s a hand bag and I urge you to find a woman that does not carry an over sized hand bag and does not absolutely need everything in it! So argument lost I am forced to fish out the valuables and essentials and leave my brand new Nine West hand bag at the entrance gate! Seriously please can I rather take the option of sitting in the safety of the car holding my bag tight in my arms? But alas, I oblige and trying not to focus too much on the possibility of some grubby college kid who does not appreciate a quality bag getting their paws on my new baby, I focus on the 22 little men running, in my eyes aimlessly, around the field. I’m not even going to try explain even a little of what I learned because it is just too much for my little brain to compute but about 3.5 hours later we are leaving with “our” team winning. I ecstatically found my bag exactly where I left it and we headed off for some post game food and of course another good couple of hours discussing every play.

So until next time I say Roll Tide!